


The Newlywed Game

by SeekingSelkies



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Elias and Gertrude and everyone else aren't invited because they're meanies, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, In the meantime, M/M, Misunderstandings, Wedding Fluff, ish. not really. they're just a couple of sillies, my boys are ridiculous and I adore them, shameless shameless fluff, silliness and sappiness abound
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:01:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23810473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeekingSelkies/pseuds/SeekingSelkies
Summary: In a parallel universe, Jonathan Sims (not an archivist) is marrying his boyfriend, Martin K BlackwoodUntil he discovers what the K actually stands forJust a little soppy silliness I threw down on my day off while half-watching Twelfth Night and feeling full of the spirit of silly misunderstandings and love shenanigans
Relationships: Basira Hussain/Alice "Daisy" Tonner, Georgie Barker/Melanie King, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims, Sasha James/Tim Stoker
Comments: 13
Kudos: 98





	The Newlywed Game

**Author's Note:**

> It can't be horrifically OOC if it's set in a parallel universe, right?

“Do you, Jonathan Sims, take this man, Martin K Blackwood, to be your lawful wedded husband?”

“I..hold on. The K doesn’t stand for anything?! Martin! You lied to me!”

Fuck

This is a nightmare, this is all a horrible, unending nightmare. This is hell. This is hell and he is in the deepest circle of it. He knew this was too good to be real, knew there was no way Jon actually loved him, and now he’s gone and ruined everything in the middle of their damn wedding ceremony because he couldn’t just tell the truth about his middle name. Every person they know and love is watching them while Jon is staring at him, brown eyes so wide with shock they practically have their own gravitational pull (although Martin would argue they had always had their own gravitational pull, if anyone except him had bothered to pay attention).

Martin can’t do anything except stare back, opening his mouth and closing it again over and over, feeling the heat rising in his cheeks which is honestly the worst thing about this because he knows that going a vibrant shade of pink really isn’t a good look with the pale blue suit he’s wearing but fine, it’s fine, none of this is real and he’s going to wake up any second…

“I thought, that’s not a real name, but Martin would never lie to me…”

“Jon” Helen’s voice cuts sternly through his fiancé’s not-so-internal monologue. “Do you take this man, liar or not, to be your lawful wedded husband?”

“OF COURSE I DO HE’S THE LOVE OF MY LIFE ALL I WANT TO DO IS WAKE UP AND LOOK AT HIS BEAUTIFUL LYING FACE EVERY MORNING UNTIL WE DIE”

_Oh_

Martin can feel his legs shaking and threatening to buckle beneath him, but Jon moves his hands upwards slightly to grab him by the wrists, holding him upright

“Just ‘I do’ is enough, Jon”

Martin can see the tips of Jon’s ears flush as he suddenly takes in what he’s done. He can feel Jon’s hand twitch in his own, knows the only thing stopping him from clapping his hand to his mouth in abject horror is the fact that he is still using that hand to hold Martin steady.

“And do you, Martin K Blackwood, take this man, Jonathan Sims, to be your lawful wedded husband?”

“Yes! Oh god yes. I mean, I do” Martin says so quickly all of the words more or less blur into one.

“Good. By the powers vested in me, I now pronounce you married. You may kiss your husband”

Jon pulls him forward and kisses Martin so hard he nearly knocks him out. His hands move down to grab Martins waist as he deepens the kiss, now terrified that if he lets go of his boyfriend- no, wait, husband, holy shit he’s his husband- for longer than two seconds then he’ll either pass out from pure embarrassment or run away or both.

“I am so, so sorry” he murmurs against Martin’s mouth when he finally pulls away. Martin just smiles

“Probably should’ve mentioned it before I had you at the altar I guess” he whispers back

“Yes” Jon presses another brief kiss to Martin’s lips, nipping them slightly “You probably should”

Helen clears her throat beside them, and they remember simultaneously they have an audience. A small one, granted, but an audience nonetheless. Daisy has her head buried in Basira’s shoulder, trying to hide her laughter, while Basira stares at them both with an expression that is the picture of bewilderment. Tim isn’t bothering to hide his laughter, although Sasha is doing her best to make him, trying to cover his mouth every time he tries to wriggle away from her. Georgie and Melanie keep looking at each other, and back at them, in some kind of comedic double act. Michael is giggling into the sleeve of his suit, and Gerry is leaning back in his chair looking as nonchalant as ever, except for the smirk playing at one corner of his mouth that keeps threatening to follow Michael's example. The Admiral simply blinks at them, slowly, from Georgie's lap.

“Right. Lovely as you two ridiculous men are, it’s not actually legal until you sign the paperwork” Helen says, with a tone that tries to be serious, but is betrayed by an indulgent smile and a twinkle of amusement in her eyes.

Martin signs first, keeping one eye on Jon the whole time, still not convinced this isn’t the construction of a sleeping mind addled from too much wedding planning. Jon leans over Martin to add his signature, fingers brushing Martin’s hand as he takes the pen.

“I still can’t believe you” he says after, shaking his head at Martin, but smiling. Martin chews his lip, feeling a surge of nerves again

“I just wanted to try it out! And then you asked me and I just, didn’t want to admit I just thought the K sounded cool I felt like I had to make it stand for something. I’m sorry, Jon”

Jon laughs, one of his deep, genuine laughs that fly out of him like confetti, and he’s staring at Martin with a look that can only be described as besotted. He steps closer, and pulls Martin towards him, pressing their foreheads together.

“Well, Martin K Blackwood-Sims has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?”


End file.
